


This one time…

by losthpfanficwriter (erbkaiser)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bestiality, Implied/Referenced Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2019-11-26 10:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18179255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erbkaiser/pseuds/losthpfanficwriter
Summary: Harry and Hermione join the Weasleys for a summer day and ask them what they do for fun in Ottery St. Catchpole.They will regret that.





	This one time…

It was a lazy summer after a frankly quite horrible 'school' year in which Harry had to fight for his life. Currently he sat on a comfortable outdoor bench at the Weasley home, just watching the people around him. Both he and Hermione had been invited to stay with the ginger family, to recover from the final battle that had almost cost Fred his life. Only his brother's quick thinking had made it so Fred was hurt, not dead.

Harry grinned as he watched the twins' antics. If it weren't for George's lost ear you still couldn't tell them apart - and no matter how much he said he would, everyone knew not even Fred was crazy enough to cut his own off to make them match.

His gaze passed over Hermione, who had been working on some kind of essay for the past hour or so. She had decided to make up for lost time and finish her seventh year after all, and was already working on school work… Harry wasn't sure what he wanted to do yet.

Harry looked at the others. Ron and Ginny were flying on their brooms in a kind of pick-up game against Bill and Percy, although by the time Harry started to figure out who was winning they were already coming back down for a drink.

Harry was bored. "Hey Ron," he called. "What do wizards do for fun?"

"Well, Quidditch, right?"

"Besides that?" Harry loved flying, but he was a little too lazy for that right now.

Ron seemed lost in thought for a moment. "There's chess… fancy a go, mate?"

"Nah, I'll pass. You always win. Anything else?"

"I dunno mate. Gobstones maybe?"

Harry let out a groan. "Come on, Ron. Is there nothing else you do for fun? Why don't you tell me about something you guys did last summer? What does a pureblood family do for fun?"

Ron's eyes lit up. "Well, this one time, one of our neighbours' goats got loose. The entire village formed a search party to track it down. We all got drunk on butterbeer and then we chased after it." Ron started to laugh, the other Weasleys (the twins and Ginny) joining in.

"And?" Harry prompted after a while.

"Well, Percy found it, right? It was hilarious… there the goat was, stuck between two trees. So Percy got behind it, dropped his trousers, and gave it a good shag. We all joined in after that of course."

Percy laughed with Ron as Harry saw the twins nod, a dumb grin on their face. He shared a look with Hermione, who looked as disgusted as he was. Still, he was bored, so he tried again.

"Err… right. Anything you did for fun that does _not_ involve an animal?"

Ron nodded, "Sure, mate. This one time, Ginny and I were playing hide-and-seek in the back yard, but she ran off into the forest and I couldn't find her. So mum made us go look for her. We all got together, got drunk, and went looking. It was hilarious… Ginny had tried to hide in a rabbit hole, but had gotten stuck. So Fred got behind her, flipped up her skirts, and gave her a good shag. We all joined in after that, of course."

The Weasleys present all laughed, even Ginny's giggle could be heard.

"Alll… all of you?" Hermione broke the quiet.

"Yeah, of course," Ron exclaimed. "First the twins, then me, then Bill, Dad, and then Charlie and Percy at the same time. It was hilarious, right Gin?"

Fred was grinning like a loon while George playfully slapped his twin's shoulder. Ginny looked at the ground, blushing from the tip of her ears all the way down to her neck line, as Ron laughed.

Harry shared a look of absolute disgust with Hermione.

"Err... right," Harry tried again after a while, as the Weasleys stopped laughing. "Come on Ron… don't you have anything funny to recall that does _not_ involve animals… or your sister?"

Ginny suddenly piped up: "Oh, I know! This one time, _Ron_ got lost and we all went out to find him…"

Twin cracks of apparition were heard and Harry and Hermione re-appeared at Grimmauld Place, vowing to never date a Weasley again.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an old joke.


End file.
